The toll of chronic masking: crashing into AuDHD burnout
Ghost Fungus on a tree stump. 2021. a13x©
Updated 28/12/2025
Burnout is a frequently discussed topic these days. In recent months, I’ve seen webinars and self-help resources circulating my workplace to address this “trending” mental health topic, with various suggestions related to identifying and managing symptoms of stress. But what does burnout look like for neurodivergent people, and how does this differ from the organisational definition?
In 2019, the WHO added Burnout to the 11th Revision of the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11) as an occupational phenomenon, defined as “a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed”.
It’s typically characterised by:
feelings of exhaustion
disconnection or negativity towards one's job
reduced engagement
However, this phenomenon is only related to workplace settings, and doesn’t account for influences outside of the organisation.
For people juggling the many intersecting life challenges that come with an ADHD and/or Autism diagnosis, neurodivergent burnout is generally viewed from a broader perspective to more accurately describe this experience.
While the following are not medical terms, they’re largely accepted among neurodivergent communities and neuro-affirming medical/mental health professionals as a way to effectively articulate this phenomenon for neurodivergent individuals.
ADHD burnout has been loosely described as:
“Feeling physical and emotional exhaustion from trying to navigate life while managing ADHD symptoms.”
Similarly, Autistic burnout has been described by participants in this study by Raymaker et al. (2020) as follows:
“… chronic exhaustion, loss of skills, and reduced tolerance to stimulus… happening because of life stressors that added to the cumulative load they experienced, and barriers to support that created an inability to obtain relief from the load.”
It’s important to note that these definitions are specific to the full lived experience of having a neurodivergent diagnosis such as ADHD or Autism, and are not to be misconstrued as simply symptoms of depression.
Neurodivergent burnout can be quite a large topic to discuss, so for this article I’d like to focus on the impact of masking heavily and for an extended period of time, particularly in the workplace - without sufficient support systems in place or effective employee inclusion strategies.
Neurodivergent masking has been described in this Psychology Today article as “suppressing or camouflaging neurodivergent traits, behaviors, or needs to fit into a neurotypical workplace culture”. Autistic masking and ADHD masking have shared traits, but they’re not quite equal, and it’s important to keep this in mind when considering a person’s lived experience and how this manifests in their daily life.
For those of us with combined AuDHD, we experience a confusing and often conflicting array of symptoms (cleverly illustrated in one of Dr Megan Anna Neff’s venn diagrams here) that can make our masking abilities somewhat inconsistent.
This confusing experience became more apparent to me than ever in the past week, as I made some painful discoveries about the cost of my masking behaviours to my overall wellbeing. Ever since receiving an ADHD diagnosis, returning from maternity leave and finally starting ADHD medication, my newfound ability to function and focus sent me on a spiral of ambition and passion for professional development projects.
Over the past couple of years I expended a great deal of energy trying to balance the waves of inspiration and determination to make process improvements with the need to improve my communication and networking capacity despite the limitations of my known disability and being a fully remote employee. Over time, I started to suspect some of my challenges weren’t being accurately represented by the ADHD alone. Something else felt not quite right, and the impulsive, inattentive nature of my combined ADHD (C-ADHD) diagnosis didn’t quite cut it.
I’d heard it was common for Autistic symptoms to become far more apparent after commencing stimulants, but I was in denial and didn’t think it applied to me. I suspect this was due to my ignorance of what Autism actually looks like in women, as all I had to go by was the stereotypical “Big Bang Theory Sheldon” traits that my undiagnosed husband has displayed the whole time I’ve known him.
I was determined to find answers due to worsening symptoms, such as:
social awkwardness
withdrawn behaviour
rigidity and preference for structure
blunt communication
excessive overanalysis
extreme exhaustion from social interactions (fluctuating between the ADHD hyper-enthusiasm and Autistic shutdown)
I finally booked in an appointment for an Autism assessment. I passed this assessment with no questions asked - my diagnistic questionnaire results were clearly indicative and my detailed, lengthy responses left no room for doubt. I had a very validating experience and received a level 2 diagnosis (requiring substantial support) and a library of resources and recommendations.
The very same day, I got a call about a short-term internal senior role I applied for. I considered myself well-suited for the role due to my experience and had been making the extra effort to engage with my team, step up when needed, coach others, resolve complex issues and provide training documentation, and network as much as possible. It was exhausting, but I thought I was doing well. And then, in the face of it all, I was basically told I was not quite cut out for the role with the reason being I need to further develop my social and networking skills.
To say I was devastated was an understatement. It wasn’t even about the job in the end, it was about how I was perceived. They could have just told me they’d found someone better suited, and I would have responded better, but they focused on a shortcoming I couldn’t possibly improve any further because of my disability.
I’d just received a diagnosis that explained on an official letterhead that my neurotype can experience significant social and communication difficulties - which is something I’ve experienced my whole life - but I always just thought I was a bit weird and unusual. I’m sometimes too quiet, and I’m sometimes a bit too much. I sometimes come on too opinionated or matter-of-fact. I’m often too emotional. Sometimes, I just can’t let things go. This is how I am, and I thought I was just a bit high maintenance. So I masked, as hard as I could, everyday, to get through - to survive, to hold down a job.
As soon as that call ended I felt the flood coming. I could not hold it back. It was an overwhelming force, a soul-crushing wave of absolute despair. I wailed. I sobbed so hard I could barely breathe, I hyperventilated and started to panic. I had to pick up my son from daycare in a couple of hours - how could I go like this? How could I get myself together and be the mother he needs? I believed wholeheartedly that I was a complete failure - no matter how hard I tried, I would never be enough. I would never win this battle.
Deep-set trauma came flooding back, and I was sinking, suddenly desperate for someone to pull me out. I’ve had many, many breakdowns before but this one scared me, so I called a helpline for the first time in my life. Thankfully, it stabilised me, and after some time the panic settled. It wasn’t easy, and I had to take time off work to recover.
Neurotypical thinking doesn’t grasp this level of response to life events. It doesn’t see the layers, the endless struggles, the daily torture to force ourselves to be something outside of our natural state. Masking is damaging. It doesn’t create confidence - it shreds it away. It might keep us safe, but it’s a slow poison. I was in deep burnout - months and years of excessive masking and symptom-control had eroded the last of my strength, and I didn’t have the capacity to keep it up anymore. My burnout was characterised by:
intense, reactive emotional responses to any small trigger (extreme dysregulation)
frequent crying and sobbing throughout the day
extreme irritation at home, especially when overwhelmed by sensory input such as intolerable sounds, light, and other things that cause physical discomfort
intense feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy
severe exhaustion despite getting enough sleep, water, exercise, sunlight, nourishing food, vitamins, etc.
increased challenges to organise my life at home such as planning family meals
loss of memory and reduced capacity to focus
long pauses and delayed responses during communication
I was barely stringing a sentence together. I was utterly spent physically, cognitively and emotionally.
I told myself it was time to open a valve, to start letting it go. I needed to be true to myself and not apologise for it. I may have been in shock and unable to confront the unfairness of that job outcome, but I’ve decided to focus on my wellbeing and get to know myself better so I can develop some strategies to regulate my nervous system. Work-wise, I’m determined to redirect my energy towards building my self-advocacy ability and focusing on advocacy projects I’ve started. I’ll be a guinea pig - a precedent case for others. Hopefully, I can help drive future positive outcomes for ND employees.
If you think you’re experiencing burnout symptoms, I strongly encourage you to peruse Dr Megan Anna Neff’s goldmine of tools and resources on her community website. I also strongly recommend picking up her book The Autistic Burnout Workbook, which was the pivotal point for me in recognising my Autistic symptoms and finally seeking assessment. I plan to review this resource as soon as humanly possible and post it in my reviews section - so keep an eye out if you’re interested.
I’d love to hear anyone else’s experiences of neurodivergent burnout and what that looked like for you - feel free to comment below.
Until my next braindump,
Dani
P.S. If you’re struggling and in need of mental health support, please make sure you reach out to a qualified mental health professional. I’ve posted some links (primarily for my local Aussies) on my Resources page if it helps.
